Worry

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

Spring is here...At least I hope so! I have gotten so used to wearing shorts to classes even just this week that I will probably go into deep depression if the weather changes again. With spring comes....March MADNESS!! Even though I hardly watch/follow basketball, ever(!!), the NCAA basketball tourney for some reason really gets me into a frenzy. I love filling out brackets (usually based upon my mood/ if I like the school name) and watching the games, and talking up the team I picked to go all the way whilst simultaneously smack talking all the other teams. The Games have already begun, and it makes me miss the high school days where the games would be playing in the commons and you could get a pass to "go to the bathroom" and sit and watch the games.

Calculus, that SOB is finally off my back, I dropped it like it was hot! Although it is a tad embarrassing to have dropped a class, and to have been getting such a low grade in it, it is the weight of a million pounds off my shoulders to be able to focus my attention to other classes that were suffering slightly because of calc. Now just to break the news to my dad... :) Thankfully everything is seemingly working out with my summer class schedule, and next fall's as well.

God is good! I am slowly but surely learning not worry...good thing God has the patience to show me to trust Him over and over again. Things with school, family, and other miscellaneous events that I find so monumental and that consume me with worry are constantly being taken care of by God. I am finally starting to get the message...DO NOT WORRY!

"Sitting here on this lonely dock
Watch the rain play on the ocean top
All the things I feel I need to say
I can't explain in any other way

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you were naturally
The one to make it so easy when you showed me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too."

To me, this picture (courtesy of N. C. Ticknor), is exactly where I want to be. I NEED a place to sit, relax, get my head back on straight. How can school have become so stressful in just the short week since break??

I wish I had all the answers to the struggles in life. Right now I feel as though every time there is a small victory, it gets beaten down by even more stress and cruelties of life that there is no time to enjoy anything. I get so caught up though in life, and the worries of school, that I forget to take the time to just sit back and laugh at it all. It is so small, a drop in the bucket, compared to the rest of life, and eternity. In 20 years it's not going to matter if I pass or drop calculus...it's not going to even matter in 2 years! I am trying to quiet my head and listen to my heart, and get back on track for God's plan for me, not my plan, or my advisor's plan.

I am falling even more in love with God & Sam. The fire for both of them is growing stronger and brighter. It is amazing how my love for Same can grow stronger as I grow closer to God. And through devotions together, I am able to grow and fall more in love with Sam as we explore our faith together. Being in God's Will is a beautiful thing!

a visit to gringotts

i am in serious need of some mula! i wish i had a vault overflowing with galleons in which i could just go to whenever i am in need of a few extra coins in my pocket...which lately seems to be everyday! i have accidentally overdrawn twice in less than a month on my bank account..whoops :)

i have been obsessing lately over same's desire to travel to the ends of the earth on his motorcycletta. i think it is taking years out of my life worrying already about his adventure. i know he will be responsible and will not be able to rest until he at least attempts this dream, but knowing that one of his goals is to ride the "most dangerous road" on the planet is not comforting. he has been very proactive though in researching and preparing for this trip. i am still unsure though what i am going to do during the two months he plans to be absent...at least i have summer school for half of it [shoot me].

for as long as i can remember i have been able to listen to the same song for hours upon hours on repeat once i become obsessed with it. i have yet to disappoint with that, and my latest obsessions have been constantly playing on my ipod and computer. along with the obvious glee soundtrack that has come to run my life, owl's city "meteor shower" has quickly moved into contender position on my 'most played' playlist. however, i am currently going through some new songs i obtained from mrs. w's recent itunes purchases, so there may be a new song appearing on here very shortly.

"i am not my own, for i have been made new"

dementors

sometimes life feels as though there are dementors coming at you from every angle trying to suck out your soul before you can produce a patronus.

oh how i wish deflecting gloom and depression was as easy as flicking a wand and watching the silver streams fly from the tip of it. i think one of the hardest things to deal with in this whole cafaffle with my parents is trying to remain neutral throughout the process. it is frustrating to see how hurtful words and actions can be, and how easily they can be displayed, but how there are no counteractions to reverse it. i have found that my desire to protect and take the burden loved ones have has overwhelmingly been put into hyper gear. i want to show love to my dad, provide money for my mom, and not let anything tear us apart. i know this cannot be god's will for me, or for this family, but i also know he is not going to do anything to stop it if it is pursued.

life this semester has been beyond hectic. having finally settled into life and routine at a new school, the workload and reality of life has set in. it is hard being away from home, and especially my sisters, through all of this, but added on top of the tyrant known as calculus and trying to secure an apartment for this summer and next year, the headaches and craziness never seems to cease. spring break has been a wonderful week of relaxation, but i know as soon as monday hits it will be on the go until summer...which starts a month of summer classes. oh joy...

i am always so overcome with gratitude when i think of how blessed i am to have same. and not only him, but also his entire family. they truly are my second family and i am so grateful they are in my life. i am also indebted to them for allowing me to watch countless hours of glee at their house whilst my family is at work/school. i seriously LOVE glee!! it is one of my favorite shows right now, with only modern family, the office, and 24 next to it. which is kind of a lot i suppose, but what can i say..i'm a tv junkie sometimes!

"i am going to make it, through this year, if it kills me"