oh how i wish deflecting gloom and depression was as easy as flicking a wand and watching the silver streams fly from the tip of it. i think one of the hardest things to deal with in this whole cafaffle with my parents is trying to remain neutral throughout the process. it is frustrating to see how hurtful words and actions can be, and how easily they can be displayed, but how there are no counteractions to reverse it. i have found that my desire to protect and take the burden loved ones have has overwhelmingly been put into hyper gear. i want to show love to my dad, provide money for my mom, and not let anything tear us apart. i know this cannot be god's will for me, or for this family, but i also know he is not going to do anything to stop it if it is pursued.
life this semester has been beyond hectic. having finally settled into life and routine at a new school, the workload and reality of life has set in. it is hard being away from home, and especially my sisters, through all of this, but added on top of the tyrant known as calculus and trying to secure an apartment for this summer and next year, the headaches and craziness never seems to cease. spring break has been a wonderful week of relaxation, but i know as soon as monday hits it will be on the go until summer...which starts a month of summer classes. oh joy...
i am always so overcome with gratitude when i think of how blessed i am to have same. and not only him, but also his entire family. they truly are my second family and i am so grateful they are in my life. i am also indebted to them for allowing me to watch countless hours of glee at their house whilst my family is at work/school. i seriously LOVE glee!! it is one of my favorite shows right now, with only modern family, the office, and 24 next to it. which is kind of a lot i suppose, but what can i say..i'm a tv junkie sometimes!
"i am going to make it, through this year, if it kills me"
No comments:
Post a Comment